A waivering thought….

This morning, when I went into work I felt great. I began to question my decision to go out on maternity leave, wondering if I wasn’t going out too soon. Maybe I was a wimp, and just not giving it my all. My day was busy (which I realized was one of the things that has been lacking in my work days lately-I needed more stimuli).

I had to leave early today, because my doctor forgot to order and administer a required TB test, and I needed to get it done before my 37th week (tomorrow). So, I hustled out of my office today at 3pm and to the doctors office, had the TB test placed, made my way up stairs to the clinic and turned in my SDI paperwork for them to finish up, and mail in. Then made my way back home. By the time I was home, I was exhausted. I barely made my way up the front stairs with out a large sign and grunt.

Hubby was able to get home a bit early too. So, after some negotiation, we decide to take the dog for a walk. Usually we walk to the dog park and then do a loop around the park. But, I cant walk that far any more, and am very aware of my limitations. So, we drove to the park, and walked the loop. But, by the end of the less than 1 mile circle-I was exhausted, achy and sweaty. Kinda crabby too, I might add.

So, I have a renewed sense that, yes, I am ready to be out on leave. And, yes, I have thought thoroughly about my decision. And, no, I am not a wimp. And lastly, yes, I deserve this small break before Elliott’s arrival. My work will survive without me (sadly for me and my XL ego).


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