8 weeks pregnant!

I am pretending that my appointment this past Monday was my first prenatal appointment.  The whole gang came with me to my doctors appointment.  We scheduled the next appointments, she wrote orders for my blood work, and she did an abdominal ultrasound.

The babe is measuring well.  By my count I was 8 weeks 2 days, and by CRL (crown to rump length) he was 8 weeks exactly.  The 2 day variance is normal (they consider up to 5 days normal) and could be explained by my short menstrual cycle.  The heart beat was strong, and we were able to hear it which was exciting.  
The kids didnt know what what going on, until I showed them on the screen and explained that Mommy was going to have a baby.  Elliott’s eyes lit up, and he smiled a HUGE happy smile.  He insisted on having a copy of the US picture for his room.  Spencer was indifferent as a 2 1/2 year old would be 🙂
I will be 9 weeks on Friday, Aug 31st.  This week makes me feel a little nervous since last time our baby stopped growing at 8 weeks 6 days, although we didnt discover that until 11.5 weeks along.  And while I know in my logical mind that it is not reasonable to think a loss would happen again, and certainly not at the exact same time.  My emotional mind is taking the reigns these days…  
Regardless, we are moving along!  I requested another appointment for 2 weeks–just to put my mind at ease.  To line up with the blood work and next steps–I go back in 2.5 weeks.  It feels like forever!  But,  there is no reason to suspect anything will go wrong.  I still feel crappy with pregnancy sickness.  I havent had any spotting or cramps.  And the babe has a strong heartbeat and is growing according the US.

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1st prenatal appt.

It seems that bad luck follows on birthdays.  I found out we lost our 3rd baby last year on Spencer’s birthday.  And this year, 2 days before my birthday we almost suffered another loss.

I had my first prenatal appt. on Monday Aug 20th.  I went through all of the normal 1st appt. questions.  We got to the trans vaginal ultrasound and the nurse said she saw a large sac, but didn’t see any of the normal fetal structures.  She didn’t see a heartbeat and she couldn’t really measure a fetal pole.    She suggested that I return in a week to look again, that perhaps it was too early.  In all of my pregnancies–I have always seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks.  So, needless to say, I was freaking out.  She also suggested I have some basic blood work done.  If the results yielded anything she would call me.
She did call me that evening, and said that after consulting with another doctor, she thinks I am having an abnormal pregnancy.  She indicated that my blood work combined with the ultrasound results indicated either a molar or an ectopic pregnancy.  Ok, this sucks.  She said I should go to radiology first thing in the morning for a detailed ultrasound.  Hubby and I were dumbstruck.  If it was a molar pregnancy, and all signs pointed that way, I would need another D&C.  I couldn’t get an IUD, and I couldn’t try for another pregnancy (not that I would!!!) for 6-12 months.  Not to mention the loss, and grief and recovery.

I went to radiology at 3pm Tuesday.  The tech did an abdominal US first.  He immediately saw my baby, the heartbeat, and that everything looked normal.  I was nervously relieved.  He also did a vaginal US to make sure the baby was in the correct place (and not ectopic).  All signs pointed to a normal pregnancy.

The nurse called that evening and confirmed the diagnosis–we have a normal pregnancy!  I agreed to keep my 1 week follow up appt with her, rather than go over all of the ‘next steps’ over the phone.

What a crazy 24 hours!  

My crazy pregnant brain

I have lost my rational mind.  I have convinced myself that this pregnancy is ectopic.

Let me explain.  When I was ovulating last month, I could feel (for the first time I could recollect), which side I was ovulating from (right).  Then, a few times this week, whenever I get up quickly, or move fast–the right side of my abdomen hurts.  It feels like a tearing or ripping feeling inside my body.  It feels like a round or broad ligament pain would, if I were farther along.  So, when I consulted Dr. Google, the first thing to return is Ectopic Pregnancy.

Apparently, somewhere between 1 in 40 to 1 in 100 pregnancies are Ectopic.  And, if you have had a D&C, you are more likely.  Most are discovered somewhere between 5 and 7 weeks-either via Ultrasound or because they rupture.

I have been holding off on making my Midwife appt. out of some sort of denial and/or fear of eminent loss.  But, it seems that I can hold off no longer.  I need to put my mind to rest.

Update:
After letting this consume me and ruin my weekend, I reached out to a logical friend.  She reassured me that everything was fine.  And that it was likely to be ligament pain.  Nonetheless, I made my first pre-nantal appointment for Aug 20th.