17 weeks pregnant

Today I am 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant.  My last post was when I was 11 weeks pregnant.  I thought that I was over the morning sickness at that point.  Little did I realize that it would hold on for another 4 weeks!!!

Somewhere around week 15 it finally subsided.  Shesh, that is longer than any of my other pregnancies!   I am grateful it is gone and for the most part I now only randomly get nauseous for seemingly no reason.  All in all, I am feeling very good.  Happy about being pregnant, mixed with the usual amount of anxiety.

I have my big diagnostic ultrasound next Thursday and I am thrilled to see our baby again, and ensure that s/he is healthy and growing normally.

I will admit that Jeff and I cheated and went to a fun ultrasound place 2 weeks ago to determine the gender of the baby.  And, while I know…I wont be telling until after I get final confirmation next week 🙂

Enjoy the suspense.  Oh, and this picture taken this morning.

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11 weeks pregnant

For the first time yesterday in over 5 weeks, I went an entire day without feeling terrible.  Beginning on day one of week 6, and continuing for 3 solid weeks I was sick day and night.  Then, it began to subside starting in the morning.  Over the next few weeks I would start getting sick later and later in the day.  I don’t think the pregnancy sickness is gone for good, but i was relieved to have a day off.

On Monday, I have my Nuchal Translucency Screening Ultrasound.  Each time I go in for an appointment, I am super nervous.  SO much so, that I can’t bring myself to look at the screen until she confirms that she sees the babe’s heartbeat.  I have noticed that my blood pressure is higher than it normally is, each time I go in for an appointment.  Will this anxiety ever end?

My body is starting to kick into high gear also.  In perfect time with the pregnancy sickness respite, the constipation and heartburn started this morning.  My belly is starting to pop out, although it has been working its way out since week 9.  The first couple of weeks though, the protruding layer of belly pudge was all that was there.  It is starting to firm up, and feel more solid.

I took a leap of faith after my last doc appointment and allowed myself to unpack my maternity clothes.  I was desperate for maternity underwear.  One of the difficult parts from the miscarriage last year was packing up my maternity clothes (that I had just pulled out of the garage).  It is an odd thing to be pregnant one day, and not pregnant the next…with nothing to show for it.

I having also been paying keen attention to my body and being hyper critical of every symptom.  Every time my stomach hurts, probably from eating wheat, I look for spotting and worry that I am going to miscarry.  I analyze my stomach size and firmness daily.  I check to be certain my breast are still sore and tender.  I don’t want to be blindsided again.  As if you can ever be prepared for a loss…

The boys are excited about the baby.  Elliott is especially so.  He will randomly look at my belly, and say “baby!”  Whenever he talks about the baby, he prefaces it with, “when the baby comes out of your vagina.”    Spencer is more aloof about it.  He doesn’t realize how it will change his life yet.

We have told most of our family.  And for whatever reason, be it our own calmness or their true feelings, they seem happier for us this time around.  Which is a welcome relief.

Once a Month Mom-Cooking in bulk

In light of my recent positive pregnancy test, I decided that I needed to plan for the next several months.      I start getting morning sickness around week 6.  With the last pregnancy, it began on day 1 of week 6.  Of course, in my head I have psyched myself into thinking all sorts of dramatic things.  But, we can save that for another post.

Having morning sickness is THE WORST feeling in the world to me.  I loathe being nauseous.  Everyone has their personal discomfort limits, and mine is the first months of being pregnant.  I am miserable and unpleasant to be around.

So, having done this early part 3 times already, I decided to try and help myself and my family out while I am still able.

When I was 8 month pregnant with Spencer, I tried something called Once a Month Cooking.  The idea is that you shop and chop the first day, then dedicate the entire next day to meal prep.  You freeze the meals and then over the course of a month, you defrost them and enjoy!

Since food is starting to smell odd to me already, I knew that I needed to plan ahead.  I ran across this website.  AMAZING!  I am wheat intolerant, and my younger son is allergic to dairy/milk.  So, I gave the Gluten free Dairy free menu a whirl.   It is a combo of breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And the food is delicious!  There were a couple of items I decided not to prepare since our families weren’t keen on the main ingredients.  But, all in all–yummy!

The other great part is that they have a section on Baby food, Vegetarian cooking, and several others.  The very best part is that the site is free!  The site asks for sponsors, but it is optional at this point.

So long sickness

Last Friday I felt horrible. I felt the worst that I had felt since my Morning Sickness started. It started around 3pm and continued even as I slept. I woke in the middle of the night, and I was nauseous beyond belief.

Then on Friday morning, I felt better. Saturday no morning sickness, Sunday the same. And since last week I have been feeling better and better. I was hesitant at first to say that the phase was over. But, it has been a week and while I still have a twinge of nausea, I feel vastly improved. I think that Thursday was the final hormone surge before tapering off.

The sweet, metallic, hyper saliva phase is almost over also (I was beginning to wonder if that would last my entire pregnancy). I still get a yuck-o taste in my mouth if I eat dairy products, yogurt in particular, but it’s minute.

My patience level is better as well. I haven’t been losing my tempter as much with Elliott, and in turn he has been behaving better. It is incredible how much children can perceive from their environment.

With the loss of the morning sickness I have gained an overall feeling of fatigue. One where no matter how much sleep or rest I get I still feel tired. Most days I can power through and just get things done. But, some days it is exhausting.

I feel very happy and finally feel at peace with being pregnant. With both pregnancies it seems to have taken me about until the 12th week to get used to the idea that I am knocked up.

My appetite is still strong, but the ravenous hunger I was experiencing has mellowed out as well. At my last appointment I had only gained 1 pound so far. I suspect she is calculating wrong, but I wasnt going to tell her.

6 weeks and counting

So to bore you all with more details about how awful I feel… I FEEL AWFUL.  Not as bad as the first go round-but all day I feel between 50 and 65%.  The thing that really gets me is the horrid taste in my mouth and the extra saliva.  Yuck!

I am such a selfish baby when it comes to not feeling well.  I expect to feel well, and when I don’t I sulk and feel sorry for myself and cant get over it.  Yes, I am that selfish.  Humph.
I also already gained a pound and my jeans are tight.  I suspect that weight gain at this early stage is not ideal, but to stave off the nausea and dizziness–eating small things all the time is the only thing that helps-and can I help it that I crave burgers and fries!!!  I can only comfort myself by remembering that I gained a lot of weight with Elliott, and lost it after he was born.  I hope for the same luck the second time around.
Lastly, I have been having some light brown spotting for the last 24 hours.  Not every time I go to the toilet, but a few times.  Nothing red, no cramps.  But naturally I am freaked out about it, and my web searching only yield people who have miscarried as a result.  I keep telling myself that time will tell.  But, that does little good for my personality type.  

And so it begins…

I was stressing over the last few weeks about not having any morning sickness.  When I was pregnant with Elliott, beginning at 5 weeks I had HORRIBLE morning sickness.  I would cry most days at lunch wishing I felt better.  So, in its absence I was wondering if I was in fact pregnant, or if something else was wrong with me.  Yes, I know that is silly but we can only compare what we know or have experienced.  

Well, I am both pleased and saddened to report that pregnancy honeymoon is over.  I officially have morning sickness.  Yesterday I sat on the couch for the entire second half of the day moaning and complaining.  And then, in a moment of weakness, requested that we eat greasy, delicious, San Diego style Mexican food from Santana’s.  Mmmm, Carne Asada Nacho’s with Guac.  Weight Gain–here I come 🙂

Friendship

Friendship is a curious thing. Ideally it is unconditional. And occasionally it actually is.

My most recent exchange with friendship was over the Thanksgiving holiday. My husband and I were looking forward to this trip for months. We planned it over and over in our heads, recounted past years with salivating mouths (the food is wonderful) and counted the days down until our departure.

When we arrived, we enjoyed a wonderful home cooked meal made with love and a lot of spices! A lovely quiet evening by the fire, and spent a while talking and catching up.

However, over the course of weekend I suffered from terrible morning sickness, day and night. I was after all 7 weeks pregnant. We didn’t go too many places, and I was therefore left to wallow in my misery at home. I am a person that when in misery (especially) in someone else’s home, it is difficult for me to participate. I try and put on a happy face, and smile and fake it.

I could not fake it. I was miserable.

After many conversations with my husband, some anger from him towards me (rightfully so-I ruined his weekend) and a week or more of thinking it over–I sent an email to our friends apologizing for my behaviour and asking for their forgiveness (I did after all ruin their long weekend too with my sour mood).

What I got in return was an nice supportive email letting me know that I can talk to them, and next time to share my feelings while I am there.

Hmm, if only they knew that I was miserable from morning sickness. Oh, wait…they did.