Since I was laid off from my job in November, I have been really struggling with my self worth. I feel like I am not a valuable member of my household since I don’t get paid for what I do. As if the simple act of getting a paycheck somehow validates me.
As you all know, we are on a tight budget since I was laid off in November. We don’t typically celebrate these types of holidays with gifts or lavishness anyhow, but this year we decided on a very different kind of celebration.
To my wife –
As we have decided to give virtual gifts this year, I have created you an electronic document that lists all of your gifts in sequential order. Enjoy.
1. Breakfast with Matthew – I thought it would be nice to have Matthew McConaughey make you breakfast since you like him and he would be fun to have breakfast with.
2. Then, you would be escorted by limousine to Coronado for a spa treatment. FUN and UBER relaxing.
3. Then, you would come back to the house and we would head out for a walk through Torrey Pines State Park with Elliott and Whiskey. Since it’s virtual, dogs are now allowed at the State Park. J
4. We would probably be hungry. Good thing… because Colin Melloy will be at our house fixing lunch for you. After lunch, you get a private acoustic performance in the living room and a kiss on the cheek from your “other” boyfriend.
5. Then… it’s off to a $1000 shopping spree at Fashion Valley. Elliott and I will follow you around in a shopping cart while you go crazy!
6. I hope you worked up an appetite, because we are going to Bombay for dinner. MMMM… Delicious Dizzy Noo Shak!
7. And when all is said and done… we put Elliott down and you get to snuggle up to me for some sweet lovin’ (pictures too graphic to post)! What a great Valentine’s Day. You must certainly love me! Happy Virtual Valentines.
Now, is my husband awesome or what?
Today is the 6 year anniversary of living with my hubby and of living in San Diego. Just thought I would document the monumental occasion on this here blog.
If you missed me lately, it is because I was going through a short bout of depression. There, I said it. Depression. Depression. Depression. I (reluctantly) admit to occasionally being powerless over my hormones and body chemistry.
Dear City of San Diego (aka America’s Finest City),
1. I have moved over 50 times. But, I have lived with my husband for the longest of any single place.
2. I never wanted kids until I met my husband. Something about finding my perfect companion changed my mind. I love being a Mom to my 19 month old son and now want 2 more children.
3. Breastfeeding my son for 15 months was the most rewarding, empowering, self sacrificing thing I have ever done.
4. I have a short attention span, and have trouble staying focused. I am easily distracted.
5. I never wonder what the future holds. I just trust that it will work out as it should. It always has.
6. I am extremely impatient. I have a hard time waiting for anything. Which makes #5 difficult.
7. I hate surprises and I hate being scared (think: Halloween). I don’t see scary or horror movies.
8. I only applied to one college and got accepted. I cried when I got my acceptance letter because I would so shocked and proud that I didn’t know how to process the overwhelming joy. I am the first person in my family to attend and graduate from a 4 year college. My niece is applying this year and my Grandmother went to Secretary School.
9. I love the outdoors, but get very agitated when my hands or clothes are dirty.
10. I have never had a traffic ticket or a DUI. But, I have been pulled over more than 10 times.
11. When I was 14 years old, I ‘borrowed’ a car from a friend, who ‘borrowed’ the car for someone else. I kept the car for a month until a 3rd friend got it impounded.
12. My sister and I have a bond that I can not explain. No matter what she does, not matter what I do-and there has been A LOT-we will always be there for each other. No questions asked.
13. I have dyed my hair since I was in 6th grade. But, 2 years ago I decided that I wasn’t going to subject myself to the patriarchy any longer and I stopped dying it. I feel better emotionally, but looked better before.
14. My brain is very literal. So, please, say exactly what you mean or I will misunderstand you. I don’t get jokes easily and I nit pick language and word choices. But, sarcasm I do understand.
15. A week before Thanksgiving 2008 I was laid off from my job. While I mourn the loss of my income, I love being at home.
16. I occasionally struggle with my self esteem. Some days I feel confident and attractive, some days not so much. But, what I have learned is that no matter how I feel the most important thing is how I act.
17. My home and work area need to be clean and tidy. However, my car hasn’t been washed or vacuumed in months (perhaps years).
18. I had a lovebird as a pet when I was in grade school named Peaches. I loved that bird to death. Literally. I was a negligent 8 year old pet owner and didn’t feed it often enough, and I suspect it died from starvation.
19. I follow 38 blogs and 27 people on Twitter. Yes, I need to get a life of my own.
20. I weigh myself –just about every day. Except when I know that I am gaining weight–and then I avoid the scale and go into denial. The denial stage is happening now.
21. I don’t mind sharing my experiences, feelings, or thoughts with people. But, I feel like my privacy is being invaded if people ask me direct questions about my feelings and I don’t know the answer.
22. Being a Mom has put me out of comfort level more times than I can possibly count–and my son is only 19 months old.
23. I once interviewed for a job at a car wash and the interviewer asked me if I wanted to be his ‘assistant’. I asked what the job entailed and he said minor office responsibilities and sex with him a few times a week, but assured me it was a well paying position. I declined the job.
24. I hitchhiked with another girlfriend to and from Santa Barbara when I was 14 years old.
25. I am very competitive, but don’t mind losing.