The results show

I work hard to be a good parent.  I quit working to be home with my children.  I read and keep up on the various parenting styles and the latest approaches to dealing with tantrums.  I listen to my children and try to be present.  I love my boys more than words can express.  But, boy o’boy do these kids frustrate me.

I am trying to reconcile how to let my kids be kids, while attempting to maintain my sanity and keeping our house erect.  Is it possible?

How do we put aside our quirks and personality nuances and allow the little people around us to exist and be happy?  I am struggling with this very idea.  Often times I am finding my rules and limitations are what is standing in the way of our families peaceful existence.  That is not to say that my rules and limits aren’t healthy and safe.  I am just pointing out that I am usually the one with the limits and rules, as well as their enforcer.

I want my kids to express their true personalities, to be comfortable in their own skin, and to be confident with their decisions.  I feel like they wont learn these lessons if I am telling them “No” all of the time.  I am certain that I am over simplifying it, but I nonetheless feel guilty with the amount of times in a day I am saying No.

Redirecting 1 child was much easier than attempting to redirect 2 children.  Especially when the second child is often times in danger of hurting himself.

I am still working hard to be a great parent, but it is taking its toll on my self esteem these last few weeks.  I am slowly coming to terms with the changes that I need to make, the limits that I need to set and enforce, and rethinking the way I communicate with the kiddos.  I am dreading the work, but I long for the results.

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The emotionless pregnancy update

30 weeks down, working on 31 weeks.  Went to my midwife appointment today, where I learned that I was not immune to Chicken Pox any longer–so if you have it, or have been exposed to it, or Shingles-please stay away.  I need to be vaccinated again, but not until after I have the baby.  Sorry Mom, no contact till after this kid is born.

I am also slighly anemic.  Iron levels should be greater than 10, and mine are around 11.  She recommended taking a liquid Iron supplement that is easy on the tummy and doesn’t cause additional constipation.  I will try eating more Iron Rich foods first since the supplement is $30 for a small bottle.  I do wonder if the slight anemia isn’t the reason why I have fallen asleep reading my son books a couple of times.  I chalked it up to general pregnancy fatigue.

The kiddo is still in the breech position. We still have several weeks before any action needs to be taken or decisions made. But, I suspect that he will be staying in this spot.  Which, BTW, is painful.  Every time this kid moves it feels like my innards are going to be punctured.  I feel like he could just poke his foot out of my vagina (or worse, use your imagination)–it is that close and odd feeling.  And this kid moves ALL THE TIME.

I actually am having some real anxiety about the energy levels of this kid.  I keep hearing that children’s behavior in utero is an indication of their energy levels later.  If that is the case, then I am in for a seriously HIGH energy child.  I know that I am being preemptive as well as paranoid.  But, Elliott was and still is a chill kiddo, and we are grateful each and every day for it.  The hubby and I joked (we don’t joke any longer–now we look grim with despair) that our second kid would be a ball of energy coupled with an irrational/emotional streak.  More on that later of course.

Other than that, all is well.  According to the scale I didn’t gain any weight.  But again, it was a different scale. I was able to get a flu shot, and the H1N1 vaccine will be available in October (for which I will qualify because I am prego).  Elliott is doing fantastic.  He is a wonderful person to be around, and I am trying to savor each day we get to spend with one another before our second son is born.