I want to be the type of person who buys only organic fruits, veggies and grains. The mom who provides nutritious snacks with no trans fats, low calories and no HFCS. I want to make my own organic baby food, and cook more meals at home. I want to be environmentally aware of the different types of plastics, know about each ones harmful effects on the substances they come into contact with, and eliminate them from my repertoire of household effects. I want to eat only free range, grain fed, hormone and antibiotic free meat. I want, I want, I want…

If I only had the budget to accommodate all of my desires. Instead I buy organic when I can, shop at Whole Foods when the checking account and time allows for it. I try and eat at home and cook as often as possible. I am making more of a conscious effort to buy foods that are healthier, lower in sugar and fat, and more nutrient dense.

I feel guilty though when I can not shop or eat organic, or be as aware and socially responsible as I would like. I berate myself when I can not live up to my expectations. I often have to remind myself that I cant always get everything I want, and that I often have to make sacrifices and say no.

So, today I am trying to come to terms with the financial limitations of staying home part time with my boy. I get to spend more time with him, I get to be there for more of the firsts. I get to spend evenings laughing and playing with him without feeling rushed. And, after he goes to bed, I get to relax. It is certainly worth the trade off when I sit down and think about it.