Let it begin

Or so I thought…
I woke at 12:30am to pee.  I usually wake 2-4 times a night to see.  I went back to sleep but felt cramps and low back pain that weren’t allowing me to rest comfortably.  I ccouldn’t really fall back asleep, and thought I was feeling a minor contraction like pain in my cervix area.

At 1:30am I was still laying in bed, and thought I felt a tiny, tiny wetness.  At 1:45am I got up and walked around, feeling simply horrible.  Trying to breathe and relax.  I used the sink to lean on and a gush of fluid was released. I soaked it into pad and bagged it up.  Then I got into shower, just in case this was the real deal.

I was already exhausted from my little running ordeal the days before, plus I had a headache that wouldn’t go away, and I was so so tired of being pregnant.

At 2:20am there were still no contractions, so I waited 40 more minutes, and then decided to wake Jeff up.  Rather than wake the kids and our friends for something that may take hours I decided to head to labor and delivery myself and have them test the fluid to be certain.  My water broke with both boys, so it wasn’t out of the question that it happened with this pregnancy.  I left around 3:30am.

by 4am, the pad had tested positive and I advised Jeff.  I was so nervous and scared of labor starting and the eminent pain that would be involved.  My body was so tired, my head was killing me, and I had been in pain for long that I was super sensitive to everything.

The OB came in to do a speculum exam around 4:30am, one where she checks for amniotic fluid near the cervix, and checks any progress I have made.  She tested 2 strips and both were negative for fluid.  She was perplexed since the original one was positive.  And decided to take a look under the microscope to be certain.  At 5am, she confirmed that I had pee’ed my pants, and that the slides were negative for amniotic fluid.

Needless to say, I was super embarrassed!  I have never pee’d my pants and felt so silly!  But, I think i was wanting to be in labor so badly that I wasn’t paying attention to my body the way I should.

In any case, I went home exhausted and defeated.

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Dense

Sometimes I am so dense and unaware…especially when it comes to my own health and discomfort.
I have been thinking that the last several months worth of pelvic pain and pressure were the result of the baby and a casualty of being hugely pregnant.  I even went so far in my head to assume that because I was older and on my 3rd kid that my body was just worn out (partially true…).  When, in fact, this is classic pelvic girdle pain

Today, I finally realized that the cramps and my inability to walk, get out of the car quickly, put my pants on easily, bend down, climb the stairs, or get up from a sitting position – that this was not a normal part of being pregnant.  Neither is the pain I have been feeling in my groin.

Today, the pain is so bad that I can barely walk.  Each step causes me to wince and grimace.  While at the park today, Spencer feel off a high area, did a mid air flip and landed on his head and back on the ground.  I witnessed the entire fall, and was close enough that I decided to attempt to run over so I could comfort him quicker.  That was a noble idea–but a huge mistake.  He is OK, and not hurt seriously, luckily.  But, I am in tremendous pain. 

I hope that some rest this evening remedies my woes.  Tomorrow’s agenda is to research how to make the waiting game easier, and my birth as comfortable as it can be. 

4.2.13. 9:30pm

38 weeks

I will be 38 weeks tomorrow.  I had my OB appt. today, and she didn’t do an exam but could feel the babes head deep in my pelvis.  I have been having a lot of pelvic pressure, my hips are killing me, and sometimes it feels as it the babies head is rubbing directly on my pelvic bone. 

I have also been having a fair amount of BH contractions, and the last couple of days cramping in the lower part of my tummy.  Today is by far the worst day.  I can barely walk.

The worst though are the hemorrhoids.  I have an RX for proctofoam, which I have been using since last night, and my doc gave me some Lidocaine today.  It is painful enough at times to make me wish for a c-section.  The thought of them worsening during delivery, is giving me a tremendous amount of anxiety about my upcoming labor and delivery.

I want this baby out! And soon. My only options though are to wait…since I have had a C-section-induction isn’t an option due to the risks of uterine rupture.  She can strip my membranes but not until next week.  And, if I opt for a C-section, it wouldn’t occur until at least 39 weeks.

So, I will just watch and wait.

37 weeks

It feels like I have gone through a belly growth spurt.  They say your baby gains the most weight in the last month of your pregnancy, and I suspect my belly is proof!

Yesterday I felt some relief in my ability to breathe and the pressure on my stomach has gone down.  But, my hip pain and pregnancy waddle have kicked up 10 fold.  They say that only FTM’s experience lightening but this babe has certainly made a small transition into my pelvis.

Throughout this pregnancy I have had to luxury of sleeping really well.  However, over the last few weeks my sleeping patterns have been disrupted with what I suspected was the need to pee.  But, I kept hearing this sound when I woke up and my throat was really dry.  Duh, it finally became evident to me that I was waking myself up with MY OWN SNORING.  I made some adjustments to my pillow palace, and started using my nasal spray again, as well as breathe right strips and I am back to sleeping well (and I use well within the context of being 9 months pregnant and huge).

The kids are getting excited about the birth and upcoming changes.  I am trying to plan and forecast the best I can for how our life will change, but you can never really plan for it… Our nursery is set up, clothes washed, diapers purchased, gear staged and car seats on order.  I need to pack my hospital bag and get a plan of action for who is going to take care of the kiddo’s once I go into labor.

34 weeks and 3 days

I feel good still, and so grateful for this baby and a healthy pregnancy.

At 38 years old, and the 3rd time around it is much harder on my body.  The pelvic pressure is insane!  The pressure on my bladder is making me wonder if I am going to pee my pants.  And the fatigue is, well, tiring!

If I exercise more than 1 or 2 times a week, I find myself unable to walk for several days.  And my hemorrhoids-i don’t know what is worse-being constipated or the hemorrhoids. 

Most days I can still find the joy in being pregnant.  But, some days I hope for an early labor. 

Embarking on the 3rd trimester

This pregnancy is by far my happiest one.  The second trimester was actually enjoyable!  I have loved my growing baby belly.  I adore feeling my daughter move around inside my belly.  In fact, I actually miss the feeling after my babes are born.  And to know that this is my last time feeling it leaves me a bit heartbroken.  A bittersweet ending. 

However, I have now embarked on the 3rd…and things are getting typical.  I am 30 weeks and 4 days and starting to feel it.  Sciatica, RLS, bouts of insomnia, PELVIC PRESSURE!, back aches.  All normal things for this stage of pregnancy, I know.  But coming off a symptom free 2nd trimester makes all of these annoyances that much more annoying 🙂

The heartburn is being managed by meds.  I am on a heavy anti-constipation regimen made up of stool softeners, mira-lax, natures calm, green smoothies, exercise, and the occasional cup of smooth move tea.  The hemorrhoids are at bay for now.  But that surely wont last!

The big (late) reveal

It just dawned on me that I never posted about the results of our big ultrasound!
It’s a girl!  According to 2 separate US’s, we have having a girl. 

I was initially terrified at the prospect of a girl.  When we started our family, 5 plus years ago, I hoped for a boy.  And again, with my second pregnancy, I hoped for another boy.  I have never felt incomplete with our 2 boys or longed for our 3rd child to be a girl the way some families do. 

I have always been more logical than is necessary, and therefore realized that gender selection is impossible in natural pregnancies and you get what you get!  I would’ve been thrilled with another boy, in all honesty.

However, now that we know we are having a girl, and we both agreed that this will be my final pregnancy-I feel grateful that we are having a girl.  It feels like our family will be complete. 

I am starting to allow myself to be excited about the prospect of dressing her up in frills and tutu’s.  I hope to skip the princess part, but I love the idea of a rough and tumble girl (this can not be avoided with 2 older brothers!), who still likes to dress girly. 

I am truly excited to see what her personality beholds.  Will she be a toe head like my other boys?  Will she have blue eyes like Elliott and her Dad or hazel eyes like Spencer and I?  So many exciting things to discover and experience. 

I am feeling incredibly lucky this pregnancy.  In fact, it has been the easiest and best one so far.  I feel happy.  I am coming up on 27 weeks, and while it is not ache and pain free, I am enjoying it much more than in the past. 

Now, if we could only decide on a name! 

8 weeks pregnant!

I am pretending that my appointment this past Monday was my first prenatal appointment.  The whole gang came with me to my doctors appointment.  We scheduled the next appointments, she wrote orders for my blood work, and she did an abdominal ultrasound.

The babe is measuring well.  By my count I was 8 weeks 2 days, and by CRL (crown to rump length) he was 8 weeks exactly.  The 2 day variance is normal (they consider up to 5 days normal) and could be explained by my short menstrual cycle.  The heart beat was strong, and we were able to hear it which was exciting.  
The kids didnt know what what going on, until I showed them on the screen and explained that Mommy was going to have a baby.  Elliott’s eyes lit up, and he smiled a HUGE happy smile.  He insisted on having a copy of the US picture for his room.  Spencer was indifferent as a 2 1/2 year old would be 🙂
I will be 9 weeks on Friday, Aug 31st.  This week makes me feel a little nervous since last time our baby stopped growing at 8 weeks 6 days, although we didnt discover that until 11.5 weeks along.  And while I know in my logical mind that it is not reasonable to think a loss would happen again, and certainly not at the exact same time.  My emotional mind is taking the reigns these days…  
Regardless, we are moving along!  I requested another appointment for 2 weeks–just to put my mind at ease.  To line up with the blood work and next steps–I go back in 2.5 weeks.  It feels like forever!  But,  there is no reason to suspect anything will go wrong.  I still feel crappy with pregnancy sickness.  I havent had any spotting or cramps.  And the babe has a strong heartbeat and is growing according the US.

1st prenatal appt.

It seems that bad luck follows on birthdays.  I found out we lost our 3rd baby last year on Spencer’s birthday.  And this year, 2 days before my birthday we almost suffered another loss.

I had my first prenatal appt. on Monday Aug 20th.  I went through all of the normal 1st appt. questions.  We got to the trans vaginal ultrasound and the nurse said she saw a large sac, but didn’t see any of the normal fetal structures.  She didn’t see a heartbeat and she couldn’t really measure a fetal pole.    She suggested that I return in a week to look again, that perhaps it was too early.  In all of my pregnancies–I have always seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks.  So, needless to say, I was freaking out.  She also suggested I have some basic blood work done.  If the results yielded anything she would call me.
She did call me that evening, and said that after consulting with another doctor, she thinks I am having an abnormal pregnancy.  She indicated that my blood work combined with the ultrasound results indicated either a molar or an ectopic pregnancy.  Ok, this sucks.  She said I should go to radiology first thing in the morning for a detailed ultrasound.  Hubby and I were dumbstruck.  If it was a molar pregnancy, and all signs pointed that way, I would need another D&C.  I couldn’t get an IUD, and I couldn’t try for another pregnancy (not that I would!!!) for 6-12 months.  Not to mention the loss, and grief and recovery.

I went to radiology at 3pm Tuesday.  The tech did an abdominal US first.  He immediately saw my baby, the heartbeat, and that everything looked normal.  I was nervously relieved.  He also did a vaginal US to make sure the baby was in the correct place (and not ectopic).  All signs pointed to a normal pregnancy.

The nurse called that evening and confirmed the diagnosis–we have a normal pregnancy!  I agreed to keep my 1 week follow up appt with her, rather than go over all of the ‘next steps’ over the phone.

What a crazy 24 hours!