11 weeks pregnant

For the first time yesterday in over 5 weeks, I went an entire day without feeling terrible.  Beginning on day one of week 6, and continuing for 3 solid weeks I was sick day and night.  Then, it began to subside starting in the morning.  Over the next few weeks I would start getting sick later and later in the day.  I don’t think the pregnancy sickness is gone for good, but i was relieved to have a day off.

On Monday, I have my Nuchal Translucency Screening Ultrasound.  Each time I go in for an appointment, I am super nervous.  SO much so, that I can’t bring myself to look at the screen until she confirms that she sees the babe’s heartbeat.  I have noticed that my blood pressure is higher than it normally is, each time I go in for an appointment.  Will this anxiety ever end?

My body is starting to kick into high gear also.  In perfect time with the pregnancy sickness respite, the constipation and heartburn started this morning.  My belly is starting to pop out, although it has been working its way out since week 9.  The first couple of weeks though, the protruding layer of belly pudge was all that was there.  It is starting to firm up, and feel more solid.

I took a leap of faith after my last doc appointment and allowed myself to unpack my maternity clothes.  I was desperate for maternity underwear.  One of the difficult parts from the miscarriage last year was packing up my maternity clothes (that I had just pulled out of the garage).  It is an odd thing to be pregnant one day, and not pregnant the next…with nothing to show for it.

I having also been paying keen attention to my body and being hyper critical of every symptom.  Every time my stomach hurts, probably from eating wheat, I look for spotting and worry that I am going to miscarry.  I analyze my stomach size and firmness daily.  I check to be certain my breast are still sore and tender.  I don’t want to be blindsided again.  As if you can ever be prepared for a loss…

The boys are excited about the baby.  Elliott is especially so.  He will randomly look at my belly, and say “baby!”  Whenever he talks about the baby, he prefaces it with, “when the baby comes out of your vagina.”    Spencer is more aloof about it.  He doesn’t realize how it will change his life yet.

We have told most of our family.  And for whatever reason, be it our own calmness or their true feelings, they seem happier for us this time around.  Which is a welcome relief.

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