I have just been hit by the wave. The wave of realization that I am now, today, in my third trimester. I am 28 weeks pregnant and in just a few weeks (I am counting on only 10 more weeks–not a day longer), I will be holding my wonderful new son in my arms. I am relying on the fact that Elliott was 10 days early, and the rate this one is growing and moving should bring him sooner rather than later as well.
The parenting part, while daunting in its uncertainty, doesn’t worry me. I know that things will work out as they should. The gear planning part is what I was initially worried about. When should I put the car seat in? When should I start washing and organizing his clothes. Should I buy diapers now or later? What should I do to prepare Elliott for his arrival? What about the dog and cat?
I am also worried about who will take care of Elliott when I go into labor, or worse if I end up having to have another C-section. We don’t have any family in San Diego, and my family rarely, if ever, comes to visit. The closest family we have is 3 hours away. What if I go into labor at night while he is sleeping–who do we call?
What do most people do in this situation? I struggle with the issue of asking for help. I have a large network of friends, but most have small children of their own, as well as careers to think about. I also have 2 friends that are pregnant at the same time as I am — one is due 5 weeks before me and the other is due 5 weeks after. I cant ask them–they have enough to worry about. I also wouldn’t want to leave Elliott with someone he barely knows, particularly during such a transitory time in his life.
I have mentioned in previous posts how very small our house is. Being just 2 bedrooms/1 bathroom and 1000 sq feet–having people stay here is a logistical challenge. And this applies spatially as well as personally for me. When there are things in my life that I can not control (a new baby, sleeplessness, a stir crazy toddler, things our of place, etc.), I struggle to ensure order around me-and that usually starts with my home. Often times this is an endless hopeless battle, but I still will try to fight it.
So many of the little details are now upon me. I need to start making decisions, rather than just pondering the what if’s. Any suggestions or advice is welcome. De-lurk and add a comment!
3 thoughts on “3rd trimester jitters”
It's not asking a friend if they've volunteered. And 5 weeks after is plenty of time. 😉
First off… be careful about counting on an early baby. My sister's first was early (35 weeks), but her second wasn't (39.5 weeks). Since her oldest was born perfectly healthy and almost 7 lbs, she assumed that her babies came early. Every day after about 37 weeks she felt like she was over due. She was a basket case.
Don't be afraid of asking for help. You might want to try having Elliot do a sleepover with some friends so that when the baby comes, it isn't such a huge deal. Our closest family is almost two hours away. Our plan was that when I knew I was in labor, we would call MIL. They would head down. In the meantime, we would bring Jackson to the hospital with us (assuming that it wasn't an emergency situation). It turned out that I was induced and my in laws were able to come down before I went in the hospital. You can have your family come down and they can stay in your room. You'll be in the hospital anyway. If your husband doesn't stay at the hospital, he can crash on the couch.
Don't worry. It will work out. So many of us have been there!
“De-lurk” is a great word – and I pretty much always have an immediate response to your postings – the previous to last one was especially moving and my initial comment looong and…. superfluous? At least I thought so – but basically, my gut response tends to always be the same: relax and stop worrying so much, things will work out, trust yourself more, ENJOY THE MOMENT and go with what feels right, etc pp…
And there's no need for me to post THAT every time, right?! 😉
So. Congrats on reaching the last trimester – and on the prospects of another healthy boy. You know if I was there, I'd be there. And I cannot imagine any of the other “close friends” wouldn't be.
It's a special and precious time – anybody should be proud and honored to be asked to help out.