I feel depressed and ugly.
I feel like shit about myself.
And my self esteem is in the toilet.
Yesterday was my 20 week appointment, and instead of being excited about my baby being healthy and hearing his heartbeat. I feel this way instead. I am selfish and self-absorbed.
The nurse who weighed me wrote my weight down as 10 pounds less than it actually was. I asked the midwife, and she was like, oh I thought you lost a pound. I said, crap…that means I actually gained 9 pounds, and she was like, uh-huh.
Granted, I weighed in on a different scale than I have been. And i had just eaten at Soup Plantation. But, come on… I thought I was eating well, with some small exceptions.
Except that my clothes are all fitting tight, especially in the legs and bum. Not in the belly where the weight should be accumulating.
I feel especially self conscious because I am close friends with 2 prego gals who both look great. And when I go to my Stroller Strides group, there are 3 more prego gals who look awesome. And then all of the postpartum moms who have rockin bods…
Ok, my bitch fest is over. Now, I am off to work out and hopefully feel better.
2 thoughts on “20 week check up”
…last I saw (see Digger Party below), YOU looked great.
Look at that pointy chin, those not-at-all flabby arms (wanna see mine??) and what's MOST important, look at that fabulous, happy and gorgeous smile.
It's official – so quit it!
And I'm sure all those other gorgeous moms you think look fab, feel the same way you do about themselves.
And, btw, you're pregnant! You MUST gain weight. So, congrats on 20 healthy weeks!!
Oh, sweet I am sorry you are feeling that way (but super-excited for you that you're pregnant again! sorry it has been a while since I last stopped in! congrats!). Big hugs to you, and a friendly reminder not to be so hard on yourself. (Hullo pot! This is kettle, and you're black!)