I feel depressed and ugly.
I feel like shit about myself.
And my self esteem is in the toilet.
Yesterday was my 20 week appointment, and instead of being excited about my baby being healthy and hearing his heartbeat. I feel this way instead. I am selfish and self-absorbed.
The nurse who weighed me wrote my weight down as 10 pounds less than it actually was. I asked the midwife, and she was like, oh I thought you lost a pound. I said, crap…that means I actually gained 9 pounds, and she was like, uh-huh.
Granted, I weighed in on a different scale than I have been. And i had just eaten at Soup Plantation. But, come on… I thought I was eating well, with some small exceptions.
Except that my clothes are all fitting tight, especially in the legs and bum. Not in the belly where the weight should be accumulating.
I feel especially self conscious because I am close friends with 2 prego gals who both look great. And when I go to my Stroller Strides group, there are 3 more prego gals who look awesome. And then all of the postpartum moms who have rockin bods…
Ok, my bitch fest is over. Now, I am off to work out and hopefully feel better.