Adjusting to life at home

Since I was laid off from my job in November, I have been really struggling with my self worth.  I feel like I am not a valuable member of my household since I don’t get paid for what I do.  As if the simple act of getting a paycheck somehow validates me.  

I think and wonder if my contributions to my household (cleaning, shopping, cooking, yard work, budgeting) are worthy of my time and intellect.  I wonder if I am ‘wasting’ my degree and potential. By staying home am I setting the best example for my son both as a human being and as a woman.  Dont get me wrong, I love staying home with Elliott.  I adore the time I get to spend with him and being the person that gets to teach him the foundational and valuable life lessons.  
But, I get bored too.  I feel unfulfilled.  I feel like I am wasting my time and talent.  I feel lonely. I wonder if I am teaching Elliott the ‘right’ things and being a loving and patient Mom.
At the end of every day I have to feel proud of what I do (read and repeat, read and repeat) or else I feel worthless.  I am working on how to feel proud of this new path.   I am getting out of the house as often as possible.  I am taking time for me when I can.  I am giving myself time to adjust and accept.  I know that it takes a while to acclimate to anything new.  

2 thoughts on “Adjusting to life at home

  1. As a mom who has done both (worked and stayed at home), I can say you are absolutely a valuable member of both your household and society. Right now you are the most important person in your son’s life. He is too young to understand the complex roles of women in society. Your degree isn’t being wasted. It will be there when you chose to return to the work force. As for your intellect – Don’t forget that motherhood challenges your intellect in new and different ways. 🙂I empathize with how you feel, though. It took me several years to adjust to being a SAHM even though it was something that I planned. I can only imagine that it would have taken longer for me to adjust if I had been laid off. Might some of your feelings of low self worth still be tied to that? It sounds like you are on the right track to keep reminding yourself to be proud of your new path. I agree that me-time for hobbies and such is essential. Otherwise, my “job” in the home gets blurred into a long 24/7 endeavor and I start to resent my spouse for being able to get away and myself for “only” being a mom. Finally, remember that what you do at this point in time, doesn’t have to be what you will do months or years from now. Maybe you’re feelings will change when your son is ready for preschool? For now, remind yourself to relax and enjoy the moment. Kids grow so quickly at this age, even if it feels like forever.

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