Positive thinking or manipulation?

2 thoughts regarding the title. The first is in reference to an issue my boss was having with another employee. He needed to tell her something difficult and I think he told me to get a feel for the delivery of the news. We talked a bit about my thoughts, and subsequently I suspect he refined his delivery, and hopefully today he will be successful delivering the news. The news was bound to hurt her feelings, but depending on how he delivered it…it just might go over well.

The second is our daycare provider; this gal is very clever in her wording. I don’t want to imply that she is lying or manipulative. I don’t feel that way at all. I love this gal, and think she is awesomely wonderful. I feel exceedingly lucky to have found her. But, she is smart in her phrasing and it got me thinking about perspective and positioning. For example, I asked her how she knows what my son wants/needs (food, a nap, a change of scenery), long before he can speak. And her response was, ‘he lets me know’. Now, the first time around, I didn’t think anything of it because I am so accustomed to being around adults who can clearly articulate their needs and wants. But, then when she said it again, I realized she meant that he vocalized himself by either crying or fussing.

As a Mom, of course, this thought is distressing. I never want to know that my son cried, or was uncomfortable in any way. But, by positioning it the way she did, she eased my worries, without me even realizing it. She acted as if his cries were his way of communicating, his way of telling her what he needs. Which (light bulb) they are! Remembering back to Dr. Sears’s books, all of them say that crying is your babies’ way of communicating.

I may sound naive to all the seasoned Moms out there, but this was a timely reminder to me. I have been getting frustrated with Lil E when he cries, especially when it is in the wee hours of the morn’ (he still wakes up at least once a night, but more often two to three times). But, remembering that his cries are his way of telling me he needs something, his way of communicating to me his feelings brings me some comfort. And more importantly, they bring me the patience I need.

Can positioning then and the idea of positive thinking be linked? If you look at a situation and can interpret its meaning in a positive way, aren’t you really just positioning it in a positive light? Some (pessimists) may even threaten that you are manipulating the truth. To me truth isn’t static, since truth is based on perception, personal feelings, and experience.

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One thought on “Positive thinking or manipulation?

  1. You gave me a lot to think about in this post. And no, I don’t think you are naive. Even seasoned moms forget these things in the midst of the screaming. 🙂 I was thinking the other day about what it must be like to be a baby. People bring you food, they change your diaper, they bathe you. Easy, right? But how frustrating must it be to not be able to change your position when your back is uncomfortable? What about something as simple as scratching an itch or adjusting clothing that is binding. I’d cry too! It’s a good thing we don’t remember our babyhood.

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