Kicking

My first flutter was felt at 16 weeks! I felt lucky to have felt it so early in my pregnancy. Over the past few weeks my boy has been moving around a lot, especially in the early evening hours! Sometimes, it’s like he is mad about being nestled in my womb, and he is kicking and punching his way around.

I want my hubby to be able to feel him kicking. I know that when he feels his first movement it will make it that much more real for us both. Hubby has started to talk to him through my belly, it is very endearing.

Last night, I had my hand on belly and was hoping to feel him kick with my hand based on the intensity that I could feel the kicks on the inside. And just as I was telling my husband that I didn’t think it was time yet…I felt him with my hand! I felt such a bond with him.

Hubby missed it, but now we know that there will be more to come shortly. I am going into my 23rd week! It is going so fast. I think I am at the stage where I don’t want it to ever end.

**Smile**

My husband kicks ass.

This is the note he left me this morning on his way out the door at 4:45am, after his 15 hour day yesterday and the previous day, and after listening to me rant and rave the night before about male-kind:

Good morning Princess!
I hope your day involves no unwarranted male input. Its OK to feel as sensitive as you are-you are physically going into uncharted territory. FUN!!!
I look forward to seeing you this evening-which may be at a normal hour.
Foreskins rule!!!
XOJ

Could I be any luckier??

bitter, angry and slightly taken advantage of

Something must be wrong with me today. I started my day happy and smiling, talking to the dog and the cat. Going about my morning chores and routines.

Then I came to work, and fell back into a glum state.

I have been struggling with a game plan for my maternity leave. I submitted a plan of action to my boss yesterday (which Jeff and I discussed and agreed was reasonable both in terms of my legal rights, and giving enough consideration to the small company I work for), and we discussed it. Which left me feeling less than positive about the companies perspective on my leave (and frankly a little bitter at the response I received). *A disclaimer is that my boss, still has to clear it with the 2 owners who are much more reasonable and rational, as well as with our HR department. But, I guess I expected a warmer response since he has toddler age twin boys and both him and his wife work full time.

I am also struggling with the fact that I have to put my goals on hold, while my husband doesn’t have to in the same way or for a set time period. His responsibilities are more intermittent during the first year or so.

On top of feeling bitter, angry and slightly taken advantage of–I am inversely happy and then teary eyed sad. Like the flipping of the light switch. I cant seem to control my emotions today.

I can’t talk to Jeff about it, because is working 5am to 9pm this week, and the last thing he needs is my sorry pathetic pregnant self adding to his stress level.

Then, while I was expressing my concerns regarding my discussion with the boss about my leave to a female co-worker–her (male) office mate interjected with a true, but very rudely expressed comment. I think it was this that made me feel the worst. It isn’t that I disagree with the comment, but it was so ill placed that it really hurt my feelings (which are clearly on the fritz today).

Lastly, I am wondering what other people (both moms and dads) have felt when trying to make the right decision regarding family leave and extended time off to care for your child, and how long they took off before and after the birth of their children, and how their employers responded. How their marriages changed with the disproportionate amount of work and commitment a mother puts in. I wonder a lot of things, and no matter what any one else experiences, it is only a guideline, since my relationship is my own (and theirs their own…).

Intact

On some subjects I would consider myself well researched and knowledgeable. I try and make educated decisions and to think things through (this of course is a difficult task in many situations). There are some issues however, that no matter how educated, logical, or strongly you feel about something-others are going to have very emotional opinions about that same topic on the other side of the spectrum. For example, there is no getting around the issue of circumcision now that we are having a son.

I feel very strongly, in fact emphatically about not circumcising our son. I have shared my thoughts, research and beliefs with my husband and he trusts me and agrees with my logic and ethical considerations.

I want to share my thoughts here for everyone to know so that when you find out that our son is not going to be circumcised or as I would prefer to say– remain intact. You will know why:

1. as a male child you are born with foreskin. Since this is something you are born with, I do not feel the need to force its removal (especially with out your consent).
2. if at a later time my son decides to have his foreskin removed, he may elect to do so.
3. there is no compelling medical evidence that requires its removal.

If you would like to research some additional sites that helped to support my decision, please see the following:
www.circumcision.org
Please also note that Dr. Sears does not encourage it, nor does the AAP (American Association of Pediatrics), AMA (American Medical Association) and the AAFP (American Association of Family Physicians). And if the Americas weren’t enough–the medical associations in the UK, Canada and Australia also do not recommend the surgery.
While there may be a small increase in the risk (this is the key word here–notice that it isn’t definitive) of UTI for intact children, this seems to be the only statistical evidence I could find to support circumcision. And that is not enough to convince me that it is medically necessary.
Please feel free to comment. But, you will be unlikely to change my mind on this issue.

The greying days of spring

When I visited my little sister over the holidays, I noticed that she had some grey hairs. My sister has long, gorgeous auburn hair. Straight like a horses tail and just at thick. Her hair was the envy of many women.

We laughed a little about the grey streaks coming through, and she didn’t seem to be fazed by it.

I have been thinking to myself, how lucky I am to have eluded the family trend. I checked my scalp many times since December, and haven’t found any grey yet. I internally gloated to myself that I must be healthier and that was the reason I was spared the grey.

But, alas…I went to my hair appointment on Friday eve, and asked my trusted gal if she noticed any grey hairs as she was cutting and dying my mane. She said she saw two. I laughed out loud. But, inside my sibling rivalry kicked in and I was shocked back into my submission that my 32.7 years have in fact resulted in the typical grey hairs.